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LoveLetters
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![[*]](./images/reflections/default_icon.gif) posted on 5.21.2007 at 05:20 PM |
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Ever Take A Cheating Man Back?
A girlfriend of mine just found out that her boyfriend of 3 years cheated on her. Who knows how many times he's actually cheated, but she had
photographic evidence of his latest little trist. He did the deed in his apt in the same bed he lays in with my friend. Now, my friend was upset of
course, but I was shocked by her response. She said that she could deal with the cheating and that she pretty much expects every man to cheat. She
said every man in her family has cheated. But what bothered her was that her boyfriend said that he slept with the woman for basically no reason. He
told my friend his cheating was not a result of any shortcomings on her part and THAT is what bothers my friend. She feels like if she is the
"perfect girlfriend" and he still cheated, then there's no way the two of them can progress.
Call me an idealist, but I still cling to the notion that it is quite possible (and for my SO, necessary) for adult human beings to be faithful AND
happy.
Ladies, what are your thoughts? Do you expect men to cheat? Have you ever taken a cheating man back? Is it possible for males to be faithful? How many
of your male relatives and friends are faithful to their SOs?
Love is dope.
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chinamarie
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| posted on 5.21.2007 at 05:32 PM |
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Once a cheater always a cheaters. Especially for the dudes who are always lying-you know they cant be trusted. Ive taken a cheating man back once.
Will I do it again. Hell no. It doesnt get you anywhere.
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deep_thinker
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| posted on 5.21.2007 at 05:36 PM |
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I would take a cheating man back if he humbly admitted that he had given into his lower self in a moment of temporary weakness.
If its permanent weakness, he gots ta go. 
If the wise are not calm their manner is not perfect; if no calm comes in battle the army gets no rest. If there is no calm between feasts the master
and the mistress of the house cannot enjoy themselves and if there is no calm in the temple God abandons it.
Righteous Without Shame.
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silky skin
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| posted on 5.21.2007 at 08:09 PM |
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I have and i'll say i'm regretting it
I'd clone myself but I wouldn't have time for the surgery----Waiting To Exhale
Married 11/29/2007
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LoveLetters
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| posted on 5.21.2007 at 08:11 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by deep_thinker
I would take a cheating man back if he humbly admitted that he had given into his lower self in a moment of temporary weakness.
If its permanent weakness, he gots ta go.
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So basically, you might be able to stomache one cheating episode, but the second time would be the end. Have you ever actually taken back a cheater?
Love is dope.
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LoveLetters
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| posted on 5.22.2007 at 10:29 AM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by silky skin
I have and i'll say i'm regretting it |
You're with him now? Why are you regretting it?
Love is dope.
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coolbreeze
Senior Member
Posts: 494
Registered: 9.27.2006
Location: somewhere beautiful
Member Is Offline
Mood: Content
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| posted on 5.22.2007 at 01:18 PM |
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I would not take a cheater back. A man that lacks self control, self respect and integrity would disgust me. I have never been cheated on that i know
of, but then again i have had very few relationships because i'm very picky and i don't put up with BS. If i don't think a brother is superb, i
wont date him
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deep_thinker
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| posted on 5.22.2007 at 01:52 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by LoveLetters
Have you ever actually taken back a cheater? |
Yes I have, and I have also been a cheater, and I have had long term polygamous relationships as well.
If the wise are not calm their manner is not perfect; if no calm comes in battle the army gets no rest. If there is no calm between feasts the master
and the mistress of the house cannot enjoy themselves and if there is no calm in the temple God abandons it.
Righteous Without Shame.
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NikkiSixx
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| posted on 5.22.2007 at 04:16 PM |
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I have...and the drama, tears, and fights aren't worth it. One time I literally could've killed him. He led me to believe one thing, and when the
girl called my house....he's lucky I took my anger, hurt, and frustration out on the clothes I bought him.
I expect a man to cheat nowadays. It may not be right away, but eventually he will. IMO that's a fact of life. Nobody's perfect. I'm the type
that's loyal and faithful to the end, but if things are geting worse, and we're not spending time together as a couple, or we're always fighting, I
may be tempted, who's to say what I'll do.
Every man in my family cheats. Things are great with their relationships in the beginning, and they're buying into the whole fairytale of finding Ms.
Right....but once the ring is on, the women stay home, and they're out hitting skins faster than you say 'What happened.'
I believe anyone can be faithful, it just boils down to what kind of value/moral system they have, and how they actively practice it. But, I find a
lot of men say one thing (because in that moment it sounds goods, and makes them look better), then turn around and do the complete opposite.
Leaving behind the trash...  |
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LoveLetters
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| posted on 5.22.2007 at 04:41 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by deep_thinker
| Quote: | Originally posted by LoveLetters
Have you ever actually taken back a cheater? |
Yes I have, and I have also been a cheater, and I have had long term polygamous relationships as well. |
Do you you think you could ever give the polygamous relationship route another try or are you totally not for that anymore?
Love is dope.
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LoveLetters
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| posted on 5.22.2007 at 04:47 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by NikkiSixx
I have...and the drama, tears, and fights aren't worth it. One time I literally could've killed him. He led me to believe one thing, and when the
girl called my house....he's lucky I took my anger, hurt, and frustration out on the clothes I bought him.
I expect a man to cheat nowadays. It may not be right away, but eventually he will. IMO that's a fact of life. Nobody's perfect. I'm the type
that's loyal and faithful to the end, but if things are geting worse, and we're not spending time together as a couple, or we're always fighting, I
may be tempted, who's to say what I'll do.
Every man in my family cheats. Things are great with their relationships in the beginning, and they're buying into the whole fairytale of finding Ms.
Right....but once the ring is on, the women stay home, and they're out hitting skins faster than you say 'What happened.'
I believe anyone can be faithful, it just boils down to what kind of value/moral system they have, and how they actively practice it. But, I find a
lot of men say one thing (because in that moment it sounds goods, and makes them look better), then turn around and do the complete opposite.
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Welcome NikkiSixx! Do you think men cheat more than women? You mentioned that all the men in your family cheat. Do the women in your family cheat? In
my family, it's equal opportunity cheating. LOL Both of my parents were unfaithful pretty much the entire time they were together. Not to mention
both my grandfathers, aunts, uncles and pretty much everyone else. I have never cheated as an adult. I've certainly dated more than one person at a
time, but everybody was aware of that, so it wasn't cheating.
Love is dope.
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NikkiSixx
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| posted on 5.22.2007 at 08:59 PM |
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Men definitely cheat more than women, and they're lazy as hell about it. They go for local, which equals convenience. And let's not even talk about
marrying your brother's/cousin's/nephew's ex.
The women in my family will travel outta state, to Mexico and the Caribbean to get their swerve on.
I've dated more than one man, but it gets hectic, I find myself not wanting to be bothered, so I've always ended up letting both go. lol
Leaving behind the trash... |
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silky skin
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| posted on 5.22.2007 at 10:15 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by LoveLetters
| Quote: | Originally posted by silky skin
I have and i'll say i'm regretting it |
You're with him now? Why are you regretting it? |
Yes I'm with him now I forgave him the first time i found out which was 7 years ago (when our relationship was only 5 years old)
now after a total of 13 years I found out a month or so ago that there was another female which there thing lasted for at least 2 years though it
ended last year around august
B1tch wanted him to leave went into there little fling knowing he had 2 small kids at home and a girl friend but he didnt want to leave he told me
there relationship was not about sex which tells me it was emotional but not enough for him to love her/leave home I had no idea this thing went on
since they where working together
anyway for all this he could have left me in my apartment 7 years ago instead of begging me to take him back if he was going to cheat on me again
I took him back the first time and now i find out he cheats again I regret taking him back and than having 2 kids
He supposedly got some revolution that he needed to stop what he was doing and left the girl alone and started focusing more on home which was around
the time his behaviors did a 90 degree turn and he asked me to marry him
though I'm no saint and did cheat in the past when we first started dating still when is enough enough
though i don't regret having my children i do regret taking him back and the bull sh!t with it
all this has shown me is I can't trust him nore do i have the time or energy to rebuild trust with him
right now I'm just taking it a day at a time until i figure out what it is I want to do even though he wants to move forward like i said i can't
trust him
I'd clone myself but I wouldn't have time for the surgery----Waiting To Exhale
Married 11/29/2007
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Tanaka
Newbie
Posts: 103
Registered: 5.8.2007
Location: a fast paced environment
Member Is Offline
Mood: content
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| posted on 5.23.2007 at 10:11 AM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by coolbreeze
I would not take a cheater back. A man that lacks self control, self respect and integrity would disgust me. I have never been cheated on that i know
of, but then again i have had very few relationships because i'm very picky and i don't put up with BS. If i don't think a brother is superb, i
wont date him |
I agree with your outlook. I believe that a man is only as good as his word. If both people agree that their relationship is to be exclusive in nature
then that is what it should be. If a person goes back on their word by cheating they just show that they can't be trusted. Their word means nothing.
So they won't be able to give me their word that they won't do it again. If they couldn't keep their word the first time, i doubt they'd do any
better the second time around. I wouldn't take him seriously. He'd have to go.
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deep_thinker
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| posted on 5.23.2007 at 10:50 AM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by LoveLetters
| Quote: | Originally posted by deep_thinker
Yes I have, and I have also been a cheater, and I have had long term polygamous relationships as well. |
Do you you think you could ever give the polygamous relationship route another try or are you totally not for that anymore? |
I would do polygamy in marriage, not in dating. The reasons for doing it in dating are usually base and sexual in nature. I have little interest in
having unmarried sex at this point and NONE in having multiple simultaneous partners; been there done that.
If the wise are not calm their manner is not perfect; if no calm comes in battle the army gets no rest. If there is no calm between feasts the master
and the mistress of the house cannot enjoy themselves and if there is no calm in the temple God abandons it.
Righteous Without Shame.
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